ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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