Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
