the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
