where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
