pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
