Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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