The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Oh god it's open bar.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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