her vagine was all disorganized.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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