i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
