Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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