i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
