just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
