ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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