I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
