what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
