Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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