You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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