I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
