and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
