lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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