i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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