That's intense
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Randomize
