i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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