the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
my liver is dry heaving
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
