Small penises have feelings too.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
