We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
