Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
