I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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