Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The chlamydia really affected his face.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
