i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
