Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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