and you said cock pushups were impossible
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
