They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
