just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
