i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
