There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
