I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
