fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
