He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
