I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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