i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
