soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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