I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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