just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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