Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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