Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
