I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
