You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
