I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
