You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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